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Post by Whisperstar, Dewpaw & Skypaw on Mar 16, 2006 21:37:19 GMT -5
*Whisperpaw walks through the forest ears pricked for noise when she hears a soft rustle above. She is about to look up when she feels a heavy weight fall on her. Startled she gives a screech and wacks out blindly at the weight on top of her. Then she recognises the scent and throws her sister off.* Oy! Dewpaw!
*The small calico she-cat picks herself up off the ground and shakes the dust from her fur with a vigorous shake. she licks a pure white paw and draws it over a ginger ear. She stares at her sister with a twinkle in her bright blue eyes.* Hey, sis! What's up?
*Whisperpaw smiles at her sister and shakes her silver paw.* Aparently you! Boy you're no feather-weight anymore! *She says micheviously her eyes narrowed playfully.*
*Dewpaw grined.* Bah! Come on, let's hunt together, what do you say? *At her sister's nodd Dewpaw follows Whisperpaw farther into the forest to try her paws at hunting and they leave the little clearing to the peace of a soft afternoon day.*
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Post by krason on Mar 16, 2006 22:35:10 GMT -5
*After burying the mouse, Smallpaw decides to try his paw at fishing. He goes over to the land-bridge, where he waits, watching intently. Suddenly, a flash of silver. He manages to get it with his front right paw. He realizes, though that it's much of a match for him as it starts to drag him into the water. Quickly he grabs it with the claws of his other front paw and pull it out of the water. He then kills it. He decides to take it to the Freshkill Pile, then go and get the mouse and take it to the Freshkill Pile*
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Post by Icestar on Mar 17, 2006 17:56:51 GMT -5
OOC: Much better, Whisperfur/Dewpaw. That helps a lot. Just keep in mind that you might want to keep silent while hunting. Spotchpaw.. As I had adivised Whipserfur previously, try to add more description to your posts. I will not tolerate one-liners from anyone. If you are too busy to post fully, then just wait. I would rather you wait a bit longer and post properly than do it hastily and poorly. Smallpaw. I'm impressed. You seem to have the basic of RPing down quite well. Good job. ;D You could also add just a tad more of description to your posts, though. The key to correct and effective RPing usually lies in proper discription. One must learn to select one action ((such as one prey to catch in this case)), or perhaps two in some cases. Then you can describe the action selected in a neat, coherant way that brings a little bit of life to your posts. I also want to encourage you all to display your character's distinct personalities. Developing and displaying personalities is one of my favorite parts of RPing, and I think it can be for you guys as well. Follow Whisperfur/Dewpaw's example. Dewpaw expressed her playful, mischievous side as well as her likeablity. Whisperfur responded in her calm, gentle ((but still a little playful)) manner. Also note that she made it clear in her post that the two were close sisters, thus setting a good foundation in everyone's minds of how they will interact with eachother.
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Post by Spotchfur and Torquestripe on Mar 17, 2006 19:00:17 GMT -5
**Spotchpaw creeps along the brush. She tries her best to be as light as possible on her paws. She opens her mouth and uses her scent glands. Her ears pricked forward, she listens for any sound near by. A twig snapping, light breathing, the sound ofclaws against woods. She listens for all, but hears nothing. Her eyes dart back and forth, trying to find any movement. Still nothing. The forest feels big and lonely to her.** Prolly because there's not much fresh kill here. **She thinks. She pads over to another bush and crouches, watching for anything. She sniffs the air again. All that she smells is the familiar smells of the forest.** Maybe I in the wrong place to find fresh kill. **She thinks again. Silently, so not to disturb anything, Spotchpaw pads lightly on her black paws.**
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Post by Whisperstar, Dewpaw & Skypaw on Mar 18, 2006 17:48:00 GMT -5
ooc: Oh, I know, I just needed some way to bring Dewpaw into the hunt!
bic: *Dewpaw and Whisperpaw walk forward silently, advoiding sticks and buches of crunchy leaves so to keep their presence still unknown.*
*Dewpaw opens her jaws to taste the air for fresh kill and takes in the scent of squirrel. She looks at Whisperfur and flicks her tail to point towards a tree a few rabbit hops away. There beneith the pine tree is a grey squirrel snuffeling about for its next meal. To her surprise, Whisperfur gives her a nudge in the side with her nose, a sign that she should go after it. Dewpaw settles down into a hunter's crouch, her paws feeling the dirt benieth them. She focuses through her good eye carefully and her eyes flash as she launches herself into the air in a mighty pounce. The squirrel's eyes grow wide as it turns to run, but before it can, Dewpaw finishes it off with a quick flick of her claw. She turns to her sister with it in her mouth, smiling.*
*Whisperfur grins at her.* Wonderful! No bury it so we can go back out again, ok?
*Dewpaw nodds and digs a quick hole and burries her fresh prey, and then walks through the woods and out of sight.*
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Ashpaw
Apprentice
Apprentice
The oldest Apprentice on this site! Woop Woop!
Posts: 67
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Post by Ashpaw on Mar 18, 2006 22:05:29 GMT -5
*Ashpaw walks out of the RiverClan camp and heads toward the ThunderClan border.Before he gets there,Ashpaw goes into a crouch and opens his mouth,breathing in deeply.Listening for any sound.There,three trees ahead,a squirrel,no a mouse,yeah,definitely a mouse.Ashpaw stealthily walks toward the mouse,making sure he is down wind from the mouse.He trys as hard as he can to not make a sound.He stops about two feet away.Then he leaps,He lands square on top of the mouse and quickly kills it with a bite to the neck.Feeling proud of himself,Ashpaw digs a shallow depression,and puts the mouse into it,and covers the hole.Ashpaw marks in his mind were he buried the mouse and stalks off in look for more prey.*
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Post by krason on Mar 20, 2006 0:06:31 GMT -5
OOC: Yessir, Icestar. BIC: *After Smallpaw takes the mouse and the fish back to the Freshkill pile, he goes to hunt for more prey. As he quietly steps through the forest, he smells the scent of a rabbit. He locates it and descends into the Hunter's Crouch. The rabbit is quite fat, and is still. Smallpaw leaps too soon and misses the rabbit as it runs away. He chases after it into the undergrowth. He can't get through the hole the rabbit went through. Defeated, he pulls himself out of the hole and continues hunting*
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Post by Fallenclaw on Mar 20, 2006 1:45:44 GMT -5
OOC: Okay.. Whisperfur/Dewpaw: Good. Except that it isn't quite realistic to have so much prey in one setting. Try to tone that part down a little bit. Spotchpaw: Very good. I like that you actually didn't catch anything.. Or even sense anything for that matter. Not to say that everyone should suddenly stop catching prey, but it was a nice change. Ashpaw: It was a descent post, actually. But you need to work on your spacing. You are forgetting that there is a Spacebar on your keyboard! ;D So try to properly punctuate and space your posts. Smallpaw: I'll talk later.. I have to get off at the moment. Sorry!! Bedtime!
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Post by Spotchfur and Torquestripe on Mar 20, 2006 19:59:51 GMT -5
**Spotchpaw pads silently though the forest, trying to catch a whiff of anything. Still nothing. She starts to walk on by, when suddenly she catches rhe scent of something. She opens her mouth to use her scent glands. Closer, close, closer she creeps. Suddenly she recanizes the scent. Unmistakebly mouse. She rises her haunches, shifting all her weight to her back paws. A little closer and she sees it.** Very small, but it will still make a good meal. **She thinks. A little closer and she stops, ready to pounce. She crouches a little more and jumps on the unsuspecting mouse.** Hah! Gotcha! **She plays with it a bit, like a kitten, then kills it in one swift move. She grabs her prize and buries it. She opens her scent glands once more, and relizes that there's not much prey near here. Sullenly she pads off to another spot.**
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Post by Whisperstar, Dewpaw & Skypaw on Mar 20, 2006 22:12:32 GMT -5
ooc: Ok!
bic: *Whisperfur walks amongst the undergrowth stealthily with her sister beside her. Soon the sound of the river is rushing through their ears and she sees Dewpaw grin.*
*Dewpaw dashes forward on light paws to the river, eagerly.* Come on sis!
*Suddenly Whisperfur launches herself forward and bares her way, a wild look of fear in her eyes.* We never run forward like that towards a clan boundary, let alone the river! What if you fell in? *she hissed. Seeing her sister's stunned and scared face she stops and licks her sister's ear embarassed.* I'm sorry, its just I got worried. I didn't want to lose you.
*Dewpaw shakes her head.* Its ok, that was stupid. It ok, really. *She hides her look of fear swiftly and puts on a smile.* Come on, lets fish!
*Whisperfur nodds and follows, the fear not yet desolved from her eyes.*
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Post by Icestar on Mar 23, 2006 20:11:31 GMT -5
OOC: Okay, as a continuation of my last post-->>
Smallpaw and everyone else who might make this mistake: Do not forget to properly puctuate before your ending asterisks!!
[e.g.] Incorrect: **Icestar leaped upon Fallen Oak**
Correct: **Icestar leaped upon Fallen Oak.**
Okay? So make sure you get in the habit of placing proper punctuation before those asterisks as well as every where else in your post.
Comments on the latest posts-->>
Whisper/Dew: Good job.. I like that you made note of Whisper's superior knowledge in such things. It's good that you are also teaching your other character at the same time.
Spotchfur: Also a descent post. A few words were spelled wrong; but over all it was a good post.
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Post by Whisperstar, Dewpaw & Skypaw on Mar 25, 2006 14:23:11 GMT -5
ooc: Thanks Icestar!
Bic: *Whisperfur beckons her sister towards the river with the flick of her silver tail.*
*Dewpaw comes up beside her sister and peers down through the sparkling water. It is a calm and quiet spot. She sees a flash of silver in the water and looks up at Whisperfur curiously.* What was that? Was it a fish?
*Whisperfur nodds.* Yep! Now what you have to do is stand still and watch for another flash. Stand right where I am and when you see it whip out your paw and hook it in the back to flick it out of the water. Just make sure your shadow doesn't fall on the water. *She says, moving out of the way as Dewpaw takes her place by the water.*
*Dewpaw concentrates on looking in the water. She satnds statue still as the water trickles by. Suddenly there is a flash and in that instant Dewpaw's paw flashes outward to get it. However in her excitment, she launches forward and falls in with a crash. Struggling in the water for a second, she bobs to the surface, a grin on her face as she spits the silver fish out of her mouth onto the bank.* I got it! *She laughs.*
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Post by krason on Mar 26, 2006 20:09:41 GMT -5
*Smallpaw crouches and sneaks through the forest. He opens his mouth and sniffs. He smells water vole and realizes he's close to the Twoleg bridge. He follows the scent trail and then comes upon the scent of Twolegs. He decides to keep following the water vole. He see it near the trail he sneaks nearer, but then a sound behind him stops him. The vole runs at the sound. Smallpaw whirls and looks behind him. A Twoleg kit is behind him. Smallpaw hisses at it, then turns tail and runs into the forest. He starts hunting again far away from the Twoleg bridge.*
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Post by Icestar on Mar 26, 2006 23:02:28 GMT -5
OOC: Smallpaw, warn me next time you decide to add in something like a two-leg encounter. That would be considered a major happening in my book, so please be more cautious next time, 'kay? Although, it was an interesting twist; I just want you to learn to use caution in the future, or at least warn me.
Whisper, I'll get back to you.. I gotta go.
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Post by krason on Mar 26, 2006 23:05:35 GMT -5
OOC: Oh. Oops. Sorry.
*Redpaw stalks through the forest. He opens his mouth to scent and smells rabbit. He goes into the hunter's crouch. He stalks the rabbit, staying on the scent trail. He sees the rabbit in a clearing nearby. He leaps, too late. The rabbit has heard him. It leaps away, running for it's hole. Redpaw hits the ground and scampers after the rabbit. He leaps on top of it and holds it down with his paws, then kills it with one smooth swipe of his paw. He covers it with dirt, proud that he's got his first catch.*
*Smallpaw crouchs in the forest near Redpaw, hunting a mouse he has smelt. Smallpaw hears it scuffling in the dirt nearby. He crouchs even lower, then leaps, but sadly misses the mouse. It starts running, but he catchs and kills it, then pushs dirt over it.*
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